"Who Am I?!"

There I sat in the counselor's office. My intention for counseling was for two people to work on saving their marriage...my first marriage.

My counselor asked me a question that I had never been asked before, one that I had never thought of before... “Lynn, who are you?”. I was silent. I am sure my face spoke of the blank thoughts I was experiencing. Then, the answers started. “Well, I am Lynn so and so, I am a wife, I am a pastor's wife, I am a mother, I am a daughter and a daughter-in-law, I am a sister and a sister-in-law, I am a friend, I am a “Christian”, I am a greeter at church, I am a...”

Occasionally, during the 3+ years of counseling, Dr. Dodd would ask me “Lynn, who are you?”. I learned that I needed to get this question. The Lord was preparing me for what He knew was coming.

The honest answer was that I did not really know who I was. My identity was wrapped up in the roles I lived out in my life. I allowed other people to define who I was or I defined who I was by what others thought of me. As a result of this, if all the sudden my “wife” identity came to a crashing end, the whole core of who I am is destroyed. Which was ALMOST the case. My first marriage did come to a crashing end. However, the whole core of who I am was solidified and strengthened as I learned the most valuable lesson. I learned that my identity is in Christ alone...in my Lord!

My whole identity can be summed up in one statement. I am a child of the Lord!

What exactly does this mean? Why is this so important for me to understand? What does this change about how I live my life?

As my first husband made the decision to leave and start his own life, my life was seemingly coming to an end. My “purpose” was gone. This was all I knew. I loved being a wife and a mother. Even though I was still a mother, that was going to change drastically. So, what would that role look like? What would my future look like? I had been a wife and mother for many years. This is what I loved. Yes, this did define me! So, as the ground was being destroyed under my feet, I began to fall. I teetered between moments of God's protection and fears of losing everything. Needless to say, I was standing on sinking sand!

My counselor was relentless regarding me learning my true identity. As he walked with me, revealing the TRUTHS in God's word, my answers to that question began to change. As those answers began to change, something happened within me. Not only did I notice a change, others began to notice a change. The Lord was strengthening me! The ground on which I was standing became solid because I was no longer allowing the roles I lived and my circumstances to define me. I slowly began to realize why my counselor was so relentless. I was learning that...

As a child of the Lord, I know that the Lord created my inmost being; He knit me together in my mother's womb. I know that I was fearfully and wonderfully made; and His works are wonderful. I know that my frame was not hidden from Him, when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, He saw my unformed body. AND that ALL THE DAYS ordained for me were written in HIS book BEFORE one of them came to be. Psalm 139:13-16

As a child of the Lord, I know that this earth is just a temporary home. My home, my citizenship is in heaven. What I experience on earth is training for what the Lord has prepared for me in heaven. I am being transformed. My inheritance is being kept in heaven. Philippians 3:20-21; 1 Peter 1:3-7

As a child of the Lord, I know that He has plans for me. He has plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

As a child of the Lord, I am His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that I would walk in them. Ephesians 2:10

As a child of the Lord, I know that I am a new creation; the old things have passed away; behold new things have come. 2 Corinthians 5:17

As a child of the Lord, I know that I am an ambassador for Christ. 2 Corinthians 5:20

As a child of the Lord, I know that the Lord is always working for my good. Romans 8:28 This part of my identity is one that gives me great peace. I have confidence that whatever happens in my life good or bad has passed through God's hands and He has allowed for a purpose that is ALWAYS for my good, not always for my comfort, but for my good!

These are just a few of the TRUTHS from God's word that have changed my life and have forever changed who I am. I am quite clear that the Lord planned and prepared for my existence on this earth. He has a foreknowledge that I cannot even begin to comprehend, but that I am extremely grateful for. This gives me peace and strength as I travel this journey of uncertainty on this earth. You never know what tomorrow will bring. But, what I do know is that God is always faithful. He always keeps His promises. He has proved this to me over and over and over again!

As the Israelites wandered for 40 years, I wandered for the first 40 years of my life not knowing who I was or that I even had a defined purpose on this earth. May 4^th, 2007 was a celebration of the end of my wandering years. Never could I have imagined what the Lord had in store for me next.

I have since remarried to the most amazing man! And I have learned that the Lord has a purpose for my life that involves ministering to others through His Word. I think about Job often. Job really did lose everything! But, the Lord blessed the latter part of Job's life more than the first! I feel as though the Lord has done the same for me! It is not always easy, but I always feel His goodness. The Lord has gone to great lengths to prepare me to live out the latter part of my life for His glory alone! However, this would not be possible if I had not learned of my true identity!

The one thing that has kept me grounded is God's Word! With the help of the Holy Spirit within me, God's word changed my life...it has changed who I am! It saved me!

Who are you?! Are you consumed with how the world sees you or how God sees you? Do you measure your worth by what others think of you? Do you let money, status, job, outward appearance, etc. define you? I encourage you to ponder these questions and ask God to reveal the TRUTH to you!

Father, use what You have done in my life to be a light to others who are walking this earth with no idea of who they are or that they have a purpose! Thank you, Lord, for holding my hand as you walked me through the fires of affliction. It is through those fires that I learned how much you love me! I am forever thankful! In Jesus' Name, Amen