The Blessing of the Curse

THE BLESSING OF THE CURSE

This is for my sweet friend and instructor, Jeri! The two courses that she walked myself and other women through have given me tools that are far greater than any degree can provide!

Thank you, Jeri!

The opening video from Everybody Loves Raymond is one example of what happened in the garden of Eden. And with that one choice, we all have suffered.

As comical, yet sad as the video clip is, we can find the same scenario in scripture.

Genesis 3:1-7

Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, 'You must not eat from any tree in the garden'?” The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, 'You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it or you will die.'” “You will not surely die,” the serpent said to the woman. “For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and ate it.

A few things to point out is that God did create man first, He created woman out of man. You will find in Genesis 2:15-17 that God took Adam and put him in the garden to take care of it. It was there that God gave Adam the command of what he was allowed to eat and not eat. Then, God created a suitable helper for Adam by taking one of his ribs out and creating women. So, Adam was responsible to lead his wife.

As humans do, mistakes were made. But, God always redeems!

Notice that when Eve was entertaining the serpent in conversation, Adam was right there. He was listening to the whole conversation and did nothing about it. Not only did he allow it to happen, he let his wife lead him into disaster. However, Eve did not respect Adam enough to consult him as to what she should do. She assumed control. As women we have a tendency to want to assume control but shift all the blame on the men when things go wrong. Adam was accountable to a greater measure because he was created to lead his wife...and he failed. Eve was accountable, as well. And today we feel the effects of the curse.

In the video clip, Ray failed Debra. As her husband, he is supposed to love, cherish and protect his wife. Much like Adam, he watched Debra as she struggled to remove a foreign object from her being. He let her down. He did not protect her and as a result her ability to feel safe with him and her respect for him has been damaged. Out of necessity and because of his passivity, she was forced to assume control over her own safety and well-being. In the show, she tends to treat him like he is stupid and he is okay with that because it keeps him from having to “man up”. It becomes a vicious cycle. At some point, someone has to decide to take the first step in submitting to God's ways and His will in order for change to happen.

One day my husband was working on our gas water heater. Gas terrifies me. As a result of my fears and need to control the situation, I hovered over my husband just in case something went wrong. He finally turned and said to me, “I don't need you to be my mom”. I apologized and closed the door. As mothers, we are wired to protect and take care of our children and other children too. But, I am not his mom and he is not a child. I displayed a lack of trust in his ability to take care of a need in our home. If that was a continual pattern, that would diminish his confidence in the role God created him (man) to fulfill. But, thank God my husband does not have a passive bone in his body and gently spoke how he felt instead of ignoring and stuffing; And that I did not get my feelings hurt, go pout or allow resentment to build. But, out of respect for him received what he had to say and let him be the man God created him to be.

One question that I have heard regarding Adam and Eve is, “If God created Adam and Eve and He is in control of all things, why didn't He intervene when Eve was being enticed by the serpent to eat the forbidden fruit?”. I am not a bible scholar. You may agree or disagree with what I have to say. But, my answer to that question based on the wisdom I have gained from seminary studies, from the Word and a few well known pastors is that God did not create us to be robots. He did create us to have free will. We have the ability to exercise our free will in such a way that we follow God's lead or our own selfish ways. The amazing truth though is that He already knows what we will choose and uses even our mistakes to draw us closer to Him. PRAISE GOD!

Regarding the curse:

Genesis 3:16

To the woman he said,

“I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing;

with pain you will give birth to children.

Your desire will be for your husband,

and he will rule over you.”

Okay, childbirth is painful, yes! The desire mentioned is not a sexual desire. It is for the role that the men have been created to fulfill as leaders. For me, I have decided to completely trust that God has fully equipped my husband to lead me and my family. Even if my husband makes a mistake along the way God allows it for our good and His glory. I am experiencing such a joy and peace of letting go of control. However, that joy and peace ultimately comes from trusting in the Lord! So, the blessing in the curse comes when I let go of that desire for control and give it all to God!